When most people hear about financial scams targeting older adults, their minds often jump to the cliché “Nigerian Prince” emails or the well-known tech support fraud calls claiming to fix a nonexistent computer virus. While these scams do exist, they are no longer the most financially damaging schemes affecting today’s retirees.
There’s a far more personal and heartbreaking threat emerging — and it’s happening on dating apps and social media platforms every day. It’s called theRomance Scam, and it’s quietly draining the life savings of thousands of seniors.
A Look at the Numbers
According to theFederal Trade Commission (FTC), romance scams are now the most financially devastating scams for adults age 60 and older. The average losses are staggering:
Seniors aged60–69lost an average of$6,688to romance scams.
Those aged70–79reported average losses of$10,000— more than any other scam category.
Interestingly, seniors aged80–89reported significantly fewer losses, not because they weren’t targeted, but likely because they wereless likely to reportthe fraud due to embarrassment or confusion.
These losses aren’t coming from fake invoices or phony virus removals. In many cases, they’re coming from people seniors believe they love.
What Is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam typically starts on a dating website or social media platform. A scammer creates a fake profile — often complete with stolen photos, compelling backstories, and professions that make it easy to explain why they can’t meet in person (military, overseas contractor, etc.).
Over weeks or even months, they build trust and an emotional bond with their target. Once a level of emotional dependence is established, the requests begin:
“I need help with a temporary emergency.”
“I want to come visit you, but I need help paying for the flight.”
“I’m stuck overseas and need money to get home.”
The stories are varied, but the end result is often the same:wire transfers, gift cards, or even drained savings accountssent to someone who never truly existed.
In many of these cases, friends and family tried to raise red flags, but love — or the illusion of it — can make even the most careful people vulnerable.
How to Stay Safe (and Help Others Stay Safe)
Whether you or someone you love is active in the online dating world, awareness is your strongest defense. Here are a few important guidelines to follow:
1. Don’t be hasty. Ask questions.
If someone is reluctant to video chat or meet in person after weeks of messaging, that’s a red flag. Scammers often avoid live calls or meetings.
2. Listen to friends and family.
If someone close to you raises concerns about your online relationship, don’t dismiss them. They may see patterns or red flags you’re too close to recognize.
3. Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
It doesn’t matter how convincing the story is — if you’ve never met face-to-face, sending money is extremely risky. Real love doesn’t come with financial strings attached.
4. Watch for inconsistencies.
Scammers often make mistakes — switching details, using broken grammar, or changing time zones without explanation.
5. Report suspicious behavior.
If you believe you’ve been targeted, report the incident to the FTC atreportfraud.ftc.gov, and notify your bank or financial institution immediately.
Final Thoughts: Love Should Never Cost You Everything
Romance scams are uniquely cruel because they prey on our most human emotions — connection, trust, and hope. But with awareness and proactive conversations, we can help reduce the emotional and financial toll they take.
If you or someone you care about has questions or concerns about online financial safety — especially in the context of relationships — I’m here to help. Protecting your wealth means protecting your well-being, too.
Let’s continue to talk openly about this issue. Because real love should bring joy, not financial ruin.
*Content Prepared by Jonathan Neher